There Are Good Days, Bad Days and There Was Yesterday

Nike-1996

     We knew it was coming, but that didn't make it easier. I thought that after losing 3 parents in the past two years, I knew horrible grief and this would be somehow different. I knew that she had lived longer than any dog I had ever known. I knew that she had been spoiled beyond belief and had the best life a dog could ever want. My brain knew all of that, but my heart did not.

     Her AKC paperwork shows her name as Nike, The Duchess of Air. Named by my children, who at 11 & 13 when she came to us, were just falling in love with the sport of running. To us, she was simply Nike. The runt of a litter of puppies from Indiana, found on the internet (I was high tech even in 1996) and fitting into my hand the day we brought her home. I thought a lot of that day yesterday, how she whimpered all the way home...how we stopped along the way to walk her, how she didn't stop shaking for about 3 days and mostly how she was immediately loved.

Nike in her prime (sorry kids)!

     She was a beautiful beagle, mostly brown and so well-behaved from the day we got her. My daughter said a few days ago that she wasn't her pet, she felt more like a sibling...and I think that was true for all of us. She was family, for 16 years. She was family when my kids were growing up. She was family after they left home. She was family through all of our ups and our downs, always the one to love unconditionally and to know just the right time to curl up in your lap and give you a moment of peace.

     We had hoped that she would pass away in her sleep. The past year we have seen her failing. The past four weeks have been really sad. She woke one morning to front legs that seemed weak and would barely support her, yet she still managed to stagger around the house. There have been days where she wouldn't eat or drink and days where we hand fed her bits of salmon. For the first time in a year, she wanted to be held again and I carried her around like a baby. She lost half her body weight in four weeks and yet she didn't give up. She wasn't in pain, so we tried to let her go on her own...but, when we carried her outside Tuesday morning and she fell over and couldn't get up...we just couldn't let it go on. Later that day, she was walking around again...but, we knew it was time.

Nike-Yesterday, in her favorite spot.

     We made arrangements to take her in at 4:30 yesterday afternoon. So, I tried to give her a really good day. I held her most of the day. We went outside and I laid her on a blanket in a sunbeam so she could feel the warmth of the sun and smell the grass. I fed her as many tiny biscuits as she wanted and one last bowl (bites) of salmon. We talked about all of the things that we had done over the years and I wept like a baby all day long. Losing Nike isn't at all like losing my mother...but, it was Nike that I held on to when I cried after losing my mom. It was Nike that curled up next to me for days on end a few years back when my son got off track and tried to drive us insane for a couple years. It was Nike who was my only friend when I moved to a new town and empty-nested at the same time. It was Nike who meant I was never truly alone. She was as much a part of this family as the rest of us and today, we grieve and are so thankful for having her in our lives for all these years. She was the "family dog" and while having Zoe (who at 9 months shows no signs of being nearly as well-behaved as her big sister) helps...she will be loved, but she will never be the dog of my children or the dog that shared all the memories of them growing up.

     The wonderful place where we board our dogs when we travel is located about 20 miles from our home, in the woods. It was a place that Nike loved and a place where she was loved. They have a pet cemetery and yesterday they were coming to pick her up at the vet to bury her there. We will visit in a few days. I hope she is running after squirrels and rabbits, nose high in the air and giving that beautiful beagle howl as loud as she can. Goodbye, sweet friend.



The Good, The Bad and the Pretty

     
     I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I had a very nice day and our weather was perfect. I'll start this with "the pretty". Some people don't believe that husbands should buy wives Mother's Day gifts, and every year I tell my husband not to...but, he ignores me. This year, one of my gifts from him made me so happy!
    
     There was a time that getting something for the house would not have been my idea of a gift...but do you see that photo above of my new doormat...I couldn't be happier. When I made the wreaths for the front of the house for this year, I had in mind what kind of doormat I wanted to put outside with them. I couldn't find one anywhere. We have looked in countless stores, on our trip, online and I finally bought a mat that I really didn't like just to get something out there. I guess my husband was listening because if I had designed my own, it would have looked just like the one he found! Woo Hoo!

     You may remember that I decided to use oranges and yellows on the front porch this year. That was an entirely new look for me.

     I decided to add in one deep purple plant in each pot just for a little contrast. Of course it is the purple that is taking off like crazy.

     The soft orange in my hanging basket is so pretty.

I really hope I can keep it alive all summer!

The sweetheart rose bush was a Mother's Day gift from my dad.

     The lantern is a recent purchase from Z Gallerie. It was on the sale table for $15 because the glass was broken out of it. It was also white wood. A can of spray paint and you would never know it isn't metal. I didn't want to spend much on the front porch this year because the front step that you can't see in the pictures was just replaced for $500. It isn't decorative, but the old step separated from the porch (it evidently wasn't installed properly when the house was built) and it was gradually sinking. Nothing like spending a lot of money on a slab of concrete! 

    The "good" is that it is almost time for an exciting event for our family. My beautiful niece is getting married in just over 3 weeks. It is the first wedding we've had on my side of the family and it is going to be wonderful. She is getting married at the Adler Planetarium in Chicago, outside on a Saturday evening. My main focus has been figuring out how to wear a cocktail dress without high heels. I won't last in heels more than 30 minutes. So, I've been collecting jeweled sandals and sparkly flats to take with me. My dad is driving home, my daughter is flying in and hopefully, everything will just fall into place. 

.

    The bad...our older beagle is in her last days. In fact, we just can't figure out how she is still here. We are in the third week of what we thought would take just a few days. She woke up a little over 2 weeks ago and her front legs were barely working. One paw is turned under and she walks as if she is drunk. She is only eating a few bites and taking a sip or two of water daily. She is so thin. She isn't in any pain and at this point we have opted to try to keep her comfortable at home and let her pass away on her own in the place she is happy. We evaluate that decision every day. If she shows any sign of pain, we will have her put down, but she is so afraid of the vet and she seems to still enjoy being held and sitting in the grass with that beagle nose taking in all the spring smells. She will be 16 in June and has had a long, happy life. Even the wild, baby beagle seems to sense what is happening as she is no longer jumping on her "big sister". She is however, jumping on everything else in the house and chewing on things and biting at us when we try to keep her controlled. So, she will be starting obedience classes in July!

Hope you all have a great day!