Monday, February 14, 2011

A Little of This, A Little of That

     The past few days have been quite an education for our family. My in-laws will be moving to a nursing home today and while they aren't happy to be leaving their home, they realize that it is necessary. My mother-in-law is actually doing well with the exception of being weak and absolutely hating the fact she is in the hospital alone. My father-in-law is willing to do whatever he has to in order to be with her.

     A crisis situation can bring out the best or the worst in families. My sister and I were always close and the past months during my mother's illness and death have only strengthened our relationship. My mother would be pleased, but not surprised. My husband isn't quite as lucky. It is so important to talk about what could happen before it happens. If you are the adult child of aging to them now about their wishes. Make certain that you and your siblings all have written medical power of attorney. Find out about your parent's assets, insurance policies and long-term care plans. It is a stressful time for the ailing parent and the last thing they need to be worrying about is their children not getting along. If you are the aging parent, start sharing this information with your children. Don't assume that they will work together or even have your best interest in mind as decisions are made.

     My husband and I have tried very hard to remember that just because his mother is ill and his father is a bit feeble, they are still able to make their own decisions and certainly should be consulted and part of the decision making process. It has been a difficult week for them, some of which could have been avoided. Hopefully, once they are settled in their new home together today, they will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of their time together.

     On to blogging...there isn't much decorating going on in my house right now. The Valentine table was taken down yesterday and my dining table now has a very simple, non-seasonal look.

I am starting to think about spring (aren't we all)
 and here is a hint of things to come.

When we get stressed out around our house...this is what we do.

     We stock up on new travel books and start making plans. Most of the time they work out, sometimes we have to cancel things but the joy is truly in the planning. We started thinking we were going in one direction for a couple of weeks, we have about decided to take a week away in the spring and a week in the summer in the other direction. My daughter and father are both coming home to visit this spring, so we won't be heading to Florida until later in the year.

     Our weekend also included a 4 hour concert with the Kentucky Headhunters, the Georgia Satellites and the Marshall Tucker Band (above). MTB was well worth the wait, the Headhunters were good and in my opinion the Satellites should just retire or go play in small bars somewhere!

     I am joining Susan @ Between Naps on the Porch for Met Monday, and Marty @ A Stroll Thru Life for Table Top Tuesday. Please take time to visit two of my favorite bloggers for their weekly memes.


Pondside said...

It sounds like you've had a week of contrasts - it's a good thing you have those travel books to take you away!

Nellie's Cozy Place said...

Hi Sue,
You are so right in the ideas you gave about aging parents. It is a tough time for all involved, but you gave some very wise advice.

Hope you have a Wonderful Valentines Day Hon!!
I am sure the things that are happening aren't making that an easy thing right now.
Sorry!! but glad yall were able to get things worked out for them.

Blessings hon,

Flo @ Butterfly Quilting said...

Great advice! Sounds like you found a nice place for your in-laws, and hopefully they will be happy once they settle in. Best wishes!

Marty@A Stroll Thru Life said...

Oh I so remember having to help my MIL make the decision to go to "care" living. It can be very stressful. Hopefully they will adjust to the move quickly.

Your table looks wonderful. Love the runner and the orbs are perfect. Thanks so much for joining the party. Hugs, Marty

Glenda/MidSouth said...

I hope your in laws adjust quickly. I agree - situations like that can bring out the best and/or worst.
I never did put anything out for Valentine's Day.
Have a great week.

dee dee said...

I'm so thankful that you and Hubby were able to find a solution for your inlaws. I can feel your father-in-laws desire to just be with the one he loves. I pray that this move will happen smoothly and that all the stress will quickly go away.
Sending you a wish for a very happy Valentines day and a warm spring like week!
Dee Dee

Patrice said...

I hope your in-laws settle in well at the nursing home. Happy Valentine's Day!

Linda said...

It's hard when our parents get older, but after going through loses of our parents, except my Mom, my husband and I have made sure to make things easy on our sons...they too are very close. We have set up a trust and let them know how to handle things as we age. I wish only the best for your in-laws...thankfully the can remain together. Happy Valentine's Day!

Sue said...

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Sue, I'm thinking of spring big time. That is such a pretty runner on your table.

JUST ME said...

a 4 hour concert??!

That's hardcore.

bj said...

Hi, sister's been awhile since we've visited. I stay busy and never get a dern thing done!! :))
Spring is on everyone's mind after this harsh winter. Spring is not my favorite time of yr because of the winds and sand we have. We do have beautiful summers, falls and (sometimes, winters, tho).
Hope your Valentine's Day has been good...:))

Kathleen said...

I know it is a difficult time. Prayers for all of you!

Sophie said...

I couldn't agree more when it comes to talking about what you want or would prefer, with your parents or children. We have been going through this stuff for a good month with my grandparents.

Everyone is arguing over everything and my mom is so upset that there was nothing written or said specifically to anyone. With her father, she has not had any relationship with him since he divorced my grandmother and left the family without any means of support.

So, you can imagine my moms shock when the family of the father that has had no interest in contacting her wants to know what they should do as far as putting him in and paying for assisted living, and how care should be given and whether or not he is DNR. Not fun, and even worse is their attitude about her requesting to be left out of the decision making because she really has no idea how he felt about all that, oldest child of his or not.

xinex said...

So sorry about your in laws. I imagine it is a very hard and emotional decision for them and the family. I hope their kids will all get along because that is wat parents want. Good luck on your planned vacation. Love the table, looks very relaxing. Happy Valentine's Day, Sue!..Christine

LindyLouMac said...

My thoughts are very much with you at this difficult time as, as a couple, we have two of our three surviving parents in nursing homes. All the points you write about here are so important.

Angie said...

Continuing to keep your family in my prayers during this difficult time, Sue. Very sound advice offered above. I'm excited to hear more about your travel plans :)

Shellbelle said...

Great advice Sue! I'm so glad a decision has been reached and I wish only the best for your in-laws as they make this adjustment. The best part is that they will get to be together and I know that will make this a bit easier for them.

I love the MTB and I'm happy to see they can still entertain an audience. There are others, like you said, that should retire and leave us with just great memories.

I adore the simplicity of your table this week!

BrightenedBoy said...

My e-mail is If you'd drop me a line soon, I have something I'd like to discuss with you.