Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Don't Wait

    
     There are no words to describe the past few hours of my life. Many of you knew that I was heading south to spend some time with my mother. She suddenly became ill a little over 3 weeks ago and has had one issue after another. She was finally ready for me to come to visit and the plan was that I would arrive yesterday...she would be going home from the hospital and I would be around to help cheer her up, help her get her strength back and just make her feel normal again. There were still tests to do, results to wait for and probably treatment and stressful news ahead, but we were going to try to get back to a regular routine while we waited.

     They did a fairly routine test on her early yesterday afternoon. Her blood pressure dropped during the procedure and they were a bit concerned. They got her awake as soon as possible, her blood pressure started going up and she was talking to my dad. I was still on the road. I was 2 hours away when I got the call that her blood pressure had dropped again. At an hour away, they knew she was bleeding internally from the procedure and they were pumping her full of blood, trying to stop it. My dad told me to hurry. When I arrived at the hospital, she was still in trouble and they had called in a surgeon to consult about going in to stop the bleeding. I got to see her, hold her hand...and even though she couldn't talk because of the tube they had put down her throat, she knew what I was saying. She knew that I was there and my dad wasn't alone.

     Surgery became the only option and it wasn't a good one. Her wonderful surgeon took us aside and told us that he really didn't think she would come out of surgery. She was still awake, we got to talk to her. We prayed, we called others to pray and we waited. The surgeon came in and told us she was back in her ICU room. He stopped the bleeding, he "felt good" about the result. I fell in love with him on the spot. I spent the night curled up on a couch in the waiting room. We got to see her a few times and she knew we were there, she rolled her eyes when I told her she was fine. She hates that tube and we hope they remove it later today.

     Medically, she isn't out of trouble. She does have some serious health problems that she had no idea she had. I don't know how this will all turn out. I do know that after trying to get her to let me come down for 3 weeks, I was able to get here at the most important time of her life, my dad's life and mine. I do know that she shouldn't be able to look into my eyes today, but she did. I know that when almost all hope was lost, I could feel love and prayers all around us. I know that for today, they were answered. I also know that life can turn on a dime. I don't have any unfinished business with my mom. As I waited last night, all I felt was worry for my father, sadness for my sister who wasn't here yet and fear of the loss that I thought was coming. I didn't feel as if there was something I hadn't said, or issues I hadn't fixed. I didn't feel any guilt, just intense sadness. I've always known that life can change quickly. I had never experienced it in such a drastic way before. Within an hour it went from what we would have for dinner when we got her home, to "go in and say what you need to say to your mom". I counted my blessings and could feel the prayers and love through every minute.

     Don't wait. If you have unfinished business with someone and there is any way to fix it...do it now. 

28 comments:

Cynthia K. said...

Bless your heart - ya'll have really been through it, haven't you? This is all so familiar to me, three times over, as our family went through so many deep health woes also. I know it is very frightening - it does, however, really make crystal clear what is important in life, just as you pointed out. I so agree, don't wait.

Hope your sister arrives soon. I will continue to pray for strength, faith, courage and peace for all of you and healing for your precious mother...

Cynthia K. (Beauty and Blessings)

kim said...

How true and I am so thankful that she is doing o.k. We will continue to keep her and your family in our prayers during this time.

Jenglamgirl said...

So glad she is doing ok for you, your, sister and father. Its a tough tough road we all have to face one day.. I myself am not at all prepared. I am glad you got to be by her side and be there for your father. Hope your mom is on healthy healthy med. and you will be able to feel even more comfort. Thank you for your closing words.. you are so right and its so true. Hope you have a great day, and feel plenty of peace throughout. Hugs, jenn

Jenglamgirl said...

excuse me.... on a "healthy healthy mend. ;)"

Carla said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you. you're a very special woman, so I'm guessing your mom is too. take care.

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

I have been there and I so know what you are going through. I do believe with all my heart the Lord hears and answers our prayers. What a blessing that your mom knows how much you love her and that you two are at peace with each other, just full of love and sweet memories. I will keep you and your family in prayer. I know the Lord is holding her in His hands. God Bless. Hugs, Marty

Maya said...

I'm really sorry to hear that...., my Mom past on last May, and I had no unfinished business either, which is so good! And she told me that she wasn't afraid of dying at all, which made me so proud of her..., because I am scared, yep.

Tammy@InStitches said...

I'll be praying for your Mom and your family. It's so nice that you are there for her, I'm sure she feels very lucky to have you.

Sandra said...

Huge hugs, Sue. I am so sorry to hear that your mama is going thru this. Please know that I believe with all my heart and soul that the Lord does hear us. I really do believe this. I will praying for your sweet mama and for you dear friend.
God Bless.
Sandra

Jude@ThisJewels4You said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! Jude

FrugalMom said...

I have all of a sudden lost my words Sue, but please know that I am thinking about you, your mom and your family.

dee dee said...

Sue,
I'm praising God that you were able to be there with both your mom and dad during this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time.
Dee Dee

Sherry said...

This has happened twice in our family. Once we got to the family member in time once we didn't. So sorry for all you have been through. Life is so precious we can't take any of it for granted.

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

I am so sorry Sue and I am so glad you were able to make it there to see your Mom. We are all thinking and praying for you and your Mom.
Hugs, Cindy

Julie@beingRUBY said...

Dear Sue
I'm sorry to hear that things escalated but am so glad to know that you got there and you mum is hanging in there... I do know what a difficult time this is for you and am glad for you that you have no unfinished business.. Life is strange.. relationships stranger.. I know I have much unfinished business with my family.... but not sure what I can do to change that.. but... right now my thoughts are with you and yours... so stay strong and I'm sending positive and warm thoughts your way... xxx Julie

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

Oh Sue, My heart and prayers go out to you. Please know that you are so cared about. I am so happy though, that you could be with your mom and dad.
Thanks you in your sad, sad time you thought enough of us to remind us to keep current and transparent with the ones we love. Good advice. May God bless you and your family. I'll continue to pray for you!
Love and prayers,
Yvonne

Andrea at Opulent Cottage said...

Dear Sue, I'm so glad that you made it to your parents, and what a loving and caring person you are! You are always nurturing and uplifting all of us, thank you for telling us about this so we can pray and be positive for you! I hope you can feel how many folks are thinking about you right now. We wish for the best for your family!
Love, Andrea

Angie said...

Oh wow, I'm so glad to hear you were able to make it home to be with your parents. I'll keep your family in my prayers. Sending good thoughts your way.

Natasha said...

Sue, this is such a poignant post and you have really spoken from the heart. I will definitely tell my beautiful little family how much I love them today.

Please know that I am still praying for you and your family.

Kindest regards and best wishes always,
Natasha.

Terri Smith said...

Oh Sweet Sue..I was so sorry to hear about your mother. Your post truly moved me to tears. So very profound! I'm heading right now to go give my mama a great big hug..compliments of you. I'll be sending prayers up for your mother and please let us know how things go.

Love and Thursday Sunshine, Terri

jackie said...

Life can change quickly. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Please know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Rettabug said...

I've got tears in my eyes as I type, Sue. I'm so sorry to hear your Mom has taken a turn for the worse, yet I'm glad to know you are there by her side, for both she & your Dad.
I hope she is extubated by now & is able to speak with you.
Sending immediate *knee-mails* up for your entire family.
Take good care of yourself during this very stressful time.

Hugs,
Rett

Holly said...

Oh Sue, I am so sorry to hear about this, but am so happy you were able to see and be with your mother. Your story is poignant and how you describe it touching. I hope to have no unfinished business. My prayers are with you and your family.
Holly

Maria said...

Hi Sue, I read this post early in the morning after you submitted it...but was in a rush for work ...I've thought of you since...
My neighbor is in FL right now with her 96 year old mom... who is springing back {once again!}
A few years ago, she broke one hip, last fall, the other hip... now a compression fracture {disk-related} ... but she loves to LIVE!

I hope all is well with your mom and that she 'springs back' Having you there is the unseen medicine that encourages healing ♥
blessings to you, Sue, your mom and family~
Maria

Patriotic Mom said...

Sue, you are a wonderful daughter! I am so glad you are there with your Mom and Dad. She is a strong woman and reminds me of my mother who left this earthly existence in 1991. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. This is one of those difficult moments we unfortunately have to experience in our lives. God Bless your family and keep you all in the palm of his hands. Joan

Sue said...

My prayers continue to be with you and your family.

Aunt Snow said...

Sue, I am crossing my fingers for your and your family. I am so sorry you're going through this stress. I'm glad (reading above posts) that she seems to be pulling through.

Pat said...

Sue, it is so very true! Our lives can change in an instant and it is so very important to clear up any unfinished business and express our love as often as possible.

I have kept each of you in my prayers and, without my computer, have been so anxious to check in and see how your mom was doing. My prayers for all continue. I hope that she will be improving daily and gaining her strength. I know that your family is exhausted but you will revive quickly once the emotional exhaustion subsides.

I'm scattered today so will not ramble further. :-) Just know that besides prayers, I send you virtual strength, restful sleep and all the positive energy I can muster.

xoxo
Pat